I really want someone to write some self-destructive Ed Westwick fic. It'd be awesome; Chace could be involved. Or maybe Penn. Or preferably both? And maybe Chris Lowell, because he's fun to throw in there. There would be much, much drug abuse involved. Fights. Very Libertines-esque story. Maybe Ed steals all Chace's things and sells them.

And oh! Oh! It'd be au, and set in London or something, and Ed would be a Trainspotting-type of kid, and Chace would come in, the clean-cut American kid, because he's, like, going to school or something. And Ed would befriend him, show him the "ropes", but really, he just wants to use him for his money, and then they fall in love so Ed's like, fuck, what about the plan? And in he's so fucking gone on the drugs that he fucks Chace over anyways, and there's tension, and Chace moves back home, all heartbroken, and Ed is even more fucked without Chace than he is without the drugs, but he doesn't have enough money to fly to LA to find Chace, and WHAT WILL HE DO? I don't know what will happen, but it'll somehow be a happy ending. Or at least the start of one.

Can you all see how this would be awesome? And can we all also see how easily we could insert other characters into this equation, like say, Pete and Patrick? Or or or! JON AND SPENCER, YES PLEASE.

I really have to go to work now.

Excuse me, guys, I know you all realize that Spencer Smith will be twenty one in a few short days. Thus, there is only limited time left in which to write porn where Jon and Brendon seduce younger Spencer and teach him about the wonderful world of sex and gambling and alcohol.

Okay, okay, so technically, he's been legally non-jailbait for quite a while. And techincally, he often travels to countries in which he is perfectly legal for all sorts of things, but shhh, I'm using this as an excuse to write virgin, innocent Spencer fic, so quit being hypothetical nitpickers!

Okay, okay! So I want crack!fic in which when Jon Walker joins Panic, he is taking over the band with his awesome. He's making everyone fall in love with him and being adorable and cute and friendly and Jon, so Ryan gets pissy and jealous and tells him he has to stop being so awesome. Basically, he has to be mean and bitchy and sarcastic and awful, especially in interviews, and he has to do it because of something in his contract (or something, okay, I don't know the logistics). So he does it, but he's really, really sad about it. And he kinda stops being awesome, happy Jon and starts being mopey, heartbroken Jon, because he's Jon, and he hates having to pretend to be mean and sarcastic and awful and bitchy.

And all the while, Spencer is like, in love with him, and it's killing him to see Jon so sad all the time. And after a long while of sadness and angst, Spencer seduces Jon, and after that happens, Jon is happy, awesome Jon again, even in interviews, but he can't help it because he can't stop smiling and being awesome because he gets Spencer Smith, and in the end Spencer kicks Ryan's ass and tells him not to make his boyfriend mopey anymore, and Ryan apologizes and takes it all back and everyone lives happily ever after with their happy, awesome Jon Walker.

Wouldn't that be awesome?